Two sides..and then some

There are always two sides of a story..and then a few more. These sides tend to manipulate into dangerous foregrounds if there is no communication. One person feels slighted while the other person feels just as awful towards the first and then others get involved and it becomes a huge train wreck of deception, lies, sides, stories, fear, anger, hate, sadness, awkwardness… With this, isn’t it easier to just get to the facts and talk it out with the other party? Sure..if you are a confronter. I, on the other hand, am definitely a passive person. I get very upset very quickly but never know how to convey exactly how I’m feeling to the other person. If I ever manage to gather enough courage to do so, it turns out to be a mess of a mess. With this as being the usual result, I stay away from conflict and go my own way, sweeping my feelings under the big rug of Passive Aggressiveness. Yes, it’s a rug. A BIG rug. My rug is so big, I could probably wrap myself in it like a mummy a few times over.

Well tonight, ladies and gentlemen, I stopped sweeping and I started cleaning. Yes, of course the conversation started to go into train wreck mode, but then I calmed down and remembered that I can’t come off like I’m attacking someone, so I stepped back and attempted to explain, rather than accuse. Of course, it was very emotional and it’s always a heart attack waiting to happen for me, but it was well needed and very overdue.

I don’t really know the outcome of this whole situation, but I know that I finally took the first step of peace making (not peace keeping, mind you). I gave my heart on a silver platter and took the stab. Will things change after a conversation like this? Will the one believe the other’s side and vice versa? After the two sides meet, do they try to mend the bridge or do they continue to burn it, log by log..I’m tired of burning things, if you really want to know the truth..Too many burns means too many scars. The mending wall takes longer but it heals.

A  heart can feel like a thousand shattered pieces of glass ..Just being overwhelmed and worried and even relieved that everything was said and done for the greater good and for the hope of new life in a relationship. I trust that God will help mend this broken heart and the other side’s broken heart.

and this is two sides..and then some.

*side note*(this isnt about my boyfriend..so don’t worry..but no one will know who this is about either )

This song is my life..

I know a girl,
She puts the color inside of my world
But she’s just like a maze
Where all of the walls all continually change

And I’ve done all I can
To stand on her steps with my heart in my hands
Now I’m starting to see
Maybe it’s got nothing to do with me

CHORUS
Fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers, be good to your daughters too

Oh, you see that skin?
It’s the same she’s been standing in
Since the day she saw him walking away
Now she’s left, cleaning up the mess he made

CHORUS
Fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers, be good to your daughters too

Boys, you can break
You’ll find out how much they can take
Boys will be strong and boys soldier on
But boys would be gone without warmth from
A woman’s good, good heart

On behalf of every man
Looking out for every girl
You are the god and the weight of her world

———-